Why Did She Put Me In The Friend Zone?


To be her lover, you have to take friendship completely off the table.

No man wants to be friend zoned by a woman he’s attracted to.  As a result, I would like to address this issue today.

A guy recently told me that he had approached his long-time female friend to express just how much he had grown to love her over the years.  After hearing the statement, the woman asked for one valid reason why the two should date, and the guy came up with several reasons.  Despite all his efforts, the woman adopted a cold attitude towards him.  According to a close friend of hers, the woman revealed that she felt torn and didn’t want to ruin their great friendship.  The guy now wants to know what he should do about the whole matter.

My Response

It’s important to note that men are generally attracted to their female friends.  They usually lie in wait like hungry cheetahs, hoping to pounce on whatever chance they get to turn a casual friendship into something more.

Most women are not attracted to their male friends and find it very difficult to believe that their close buddy would actually hit on them.  As a result, men should remember that when a woman starts to confide in you about everything, even going to the extent of setting you up with her less attractive friends, it’s usually because they have already placed you in the friend zone.

Contrary to what most people think, men and women tend to have the same behaviors when it comes to these sorts of issues.  In the case of guys, they quickly come to the conclusion that the women they should date, have a relationship with, or sleep with must be hot, interesting, and intelligent.  However, datable women must also be nice. Those who should be friends (or one night flings) are often interesting and intelligent, but not always nice.

As a man, you are obviously aware that once a woman gets placed into these categories, getting out of them is next to impossible.

However, men forget that women do the same thing.  When they first meet a guy, they will quickly decide whether to:

  • Marry, date or have kids with him
  • Have a fling under the right conditions
  • Place them in the friend zone without the possibility of sex

Unlike men, women use a very different assessment process.  They focus more on how a man makes them feel instead of how he looks.

As a man, you should be aggressive and confident.  Women find such characteristics very attractive.  They don’t want a weak man who is too nice for his own good.

The biggest mistake that most men make is trying to use logic to establish a relationship with their female friends.  If you don’t start acting like the guy she wants, you will always be a friend.

What You Should Do

The first step is to decide whether you want to be her friend or lover, because you can’t have both.  If you want a shot with such a woman, you should be prepared to lose her forever.  In fact, you need to take the entire aspect of friendship completely off the table.  In other words, you should stop being a wimp.

Show her that you won’t just sit around and wait for her.